deshelved inside. i seek clarity, clinging to dear life onto the thoroughbred horse.
Porcelain Vase.
A porcelain vase.
sitting on a shelf, its pure and delicate pieces were put back together again by the hands of a master that resides in the nth dimension
sitting there on the shelf, it tries to hold itself together, hoping that the glue hold and give out
broken as it was before seeks a new life on this shelf hoping that strong eight winds would not knock it off upon the stable shelf
it sits and watch like an eagle on the shelf, amazed by the idiosyncratic ways of life
it sits and wonders if it would soon be replaced by another antique
in the past, the vase had no cracks, pure white etches untouched but because of a great fall, it has been pieced back together with hope from the master
now, with broken lines….the vase feels as if it is just an old vase.
nothing new.
perhaps a suitor who appreciates its history would come to appreciate its flaw and admire it anew
perhaps a suitor will come to place flowers in it and admire it not for the sake of display or functionality but would appreciate it for what it is.
vase you deserve a suitor who is willing to build a shelf only for you and would not feel as if he is missing out on claiming other vases as trophies in his home
vases with two handles seems better than none to some
but this vase enjoys its creased lines on its body and the flaws that come with it
perhaps the new suitor should polished the tarnished mirror in front of the vase so that its viewed isn’t so skewed.
The General Stone Tiger
Ease and comfort can only go so far. I seek comfort in full meditation.
Back in full meditation mode.
I know for a fact myoho you have protected me. My heart is grounded even when I feel like my emotions have hit rock bottom.
my soul felt as if it had died a few nights ago.
despite the challenges….
today, beginning last night and this morning, I fasted, transitioned into deep meditation.
goal, toso meaning full armory through deep meditation. battle starts inside of me first before i am able to conquer from within to without.
seeking sensei is seeking out teaching of the lotus sutra, the lotus sutra or myoho is sensei.
connecting with sensei is essential. no more games.
*********************************************
Nichiren writes a letter to someone about sensei in the gosho, The General Stone Tiger:
ON the twenty-second of this month I received all that you sent me from Shinano—three thousand coins, a sack of polished rice, fifty slabs of rice cake, one large and one small bamboo container of sake, five strings of dried persimmons, and ten pomegranates, as well as the list of items you enclosed with these offerings.
A sovereign is supported by the people, and they in turn live under his protection. Clothes protect us from a change of temperature, and food sustains us, just as oil keeps a fire burning and water enables fish to live. Birds nest high in the trees in fear that human beings will harm them, but they come down to feed and are caught in snares. Fish dwelling in the depths of the water fear that it is too shallow and dig holes to hide in, yet lured by bait, they take the hook. No treasure possessed by human beings is more precious than food and drink, clothing and medicine.
I am not as healthy as others, and in addition, I dwell in this remote mountain forest. This year was especially difficult, with widespread epidemics and famine in spring and summer, which worsened in autumn and winter. My sickness grew worse again, too, but you gave me various medicines and a quilted robe. Thanks to your remedies, I improved steadily; I have now recov
ered and feel much better than before. The Treatise on the Stages of Yoga Practice by Bodhisattva Maitreya and The Treatise on the Great Perfection of Wisdom by Bodhisattva Nagarjuna both state that, if one’s illness is caused by fixed karma, even excellent medicine will turn to poison, but that, if one believes in the Lotus Sutra, poison will change into medicine. Although unworthy, I propagate the Lotus Sutra; hence heavenly devils have competed to deprive me of food. Understanding this, I have no complaint, but I believe that I survived this time only because Shakyamuni Buddha entered your body to help me.
So much for that. I was extremely concerned about your journey home last time, and I am overjoyed to hear that you have arrived safely in Kamakura. Such was my anxiety that I asked everyone who came here from Kamakura.about you. One said that he had met you at Yumoto, another that he had encountered you farther on at Kozu, and when a third told me that he had seen you in Kamakura, I felt greatly relieved. From now on, you must not come to visit me in person unless absolutely necessary. When you have something urgent to tell me, send a messenger. Indeed, I was deeply worried about your last trip. An enemy will try to make you forget the danger so that he can attack. If you should
have to travel, do not begrudge the cost of a horse. Make sure that you ride a good horse. Bring along your best men to defend you against a surprise attack, and ride a horse that can easily carry you in your armor.
In the eighth volume of Great Concentration and Insight and in the eighth volume of The Annotations on “Great Concentration and Insight” it says, “The stronger one’s faith, the greater the protection of the gods.” This means that the protection of the gods depends on the strength of one’s faith. The Lotus Sutra is a fine sword, but its might depends on the one who wields it.
Among those who propagate this sutra in the Latter Day of the Law, who compares with Shariputra, Mahakashyapa, Perceiver of the World’s Sounds, Wonderful Sound, Manjushri, and Medicine King? Persons of the two vehicles [such as Shariputra] had destroyed all the illusions of thought and desire, thus freeing themselves from the six paths. Bodhisattvas [such as Perceiver of the World’s Sounds] had eradicated forty-one of the forty-two levels of ignorance and were like the moon on the fourteenth night before it reaches fullness. Nevertheless, Shakyamuni Bud
dha refused to entrust the mission of propagation to any of these people and gave it instead to the Bodhisattvas of the Earth. Thus these bodhisattvas are the ones who had thoroughly forged their resolve.
The mighty warrior General Li Kuang, whose mother had been devoured by a tiger, shot an arrow at the stone he believed was the tiger. The arrow penetrated the stone all the way up to its feathers. But once he realized it was only a stone, he was unable to pierce it again. Later he came to be known as General Stone Tiger. This story applies to you. Though enemies lurk in wait for you, your resolute faith in the Lotus Sutra has forestalled great dangers before they could begin. Realizing this, you must strengthen your faith more than ever. It is impossible to say all I want to in one letter.
With my deep respect,
Nichiren
The twenty-second day of the intercalary tenth month in the first year of Koan (1278), cyclical signtsuchinoe-tora
Reply to Shijo Saemon
****************
Background
This letter was written at Minobu in the intercalary tenth month of 1278 to Shijo Nakatsukasa Saburo Saemon, commonly called Shijo Kingo. Kingo was accomplished in both the practice of medicine and the martial arts. For nearly the entire first half of 1278, Nichiren Daishonin had suffered from debilitating and chronic diarrhea. Evidently Kingo had sent the Daishonin various medicines that had helped alleviate his illness.
In the fall of 1277 a virulent epidemic swept Japan, and Kingo’s lord became violently ill. Despite the lord’s deep-seated antagonism toward the Daishonin’s teachings, he turned to Kingo for help. Lord Ema was most grateful for Kingo’s ministrations and rewarded him with an estate three times larger than the one he already had. Yet the Daishonin warns Kingo to be constantly on guard and to take particularly great care to protect himself from attack while traveling.
Dichotomy of Yin and Yang
Lotus Sutra teachings say: ‘Without the existence of evil, wise actions of good cannot be manifested. For this reason, Devadatta had for immeasurable kalpas always been together with Shakyamuni, and when Shakyamuni practiced the Buddha way, Devadatta practiced injustice. In this way, they mutually inspired each other.’ Once good is completely revealed, however, evil in its entirety becomes good. Therefore, the Lotus Sutra teaches the oneness of good and evil, the oneness of the erroneous and thetrue, and the oneness of a reverse relationship and a positive relationship. This is the inner doctrine that had not been revealed in the pre-Lotus Sutra teachings.
grateful.
I am so grateful to be given a chance at a young age to discern what true and what is false.
I am grateful for the love in life.
I am even more grateful to discern the objective reality from subjective reality,
grasping the difference from the conspicuous versus the inconspicuous benefits of my life.
Empress Wu Zetian
my body is not shaped to bear children at the moment but shaped for battle.
figure dressed for haute couture.
empress wu zetian and the dragon king’s daughter are all forms that i have taken in the past.
I return again to reshape my destiny.
I seek refuge.
I am a cage bird that sings.
Sitting in a cage I look yonder and I see the sun.
Other birds around me had asked me to sing.
Sing to the sun they say.
I would try and only a snippets of my voice would bear to budge.
Sing they say.
I tried.
The sun is so powerful.
Its rays radiates across the four corners of the earth yet I had refused for sometime to allow my cage to swing near the light.
Why is that they asked?
Because the light would force me to reveal myself
Bare and naked
But your feathers are so beautiful they said….
oh but the more vunerable I will then become….
Sing they say and I would just curl inside the feathers on my chest
the cage promises me protection, love and care….it’s much safer in here
Little did I know it would be selfish of me to not share the sight of my wings
I’ll just give it a try.
Pain.
Other birds outside the cage are new and more exotic to his taste.
I was the old bird.
There’s no need to pity myself. Hogwash!
I take this time today to self reflect why what is outside of me appears to be to ungrateful to me, so dark.
Sing says she! Who?
Me!
My heart encouraged me to sing.
Today I seek to find that pain is my strength.
I confide in pain as the raw material to change what’s hurts inside of me.
I seek to change this pain.
Pain is the exlixir to life itself.
Pain is me at the moment.
But I choose to not dwell.
I’ve fallen so many times
and I will continue to do so
only to get back up again
this is what truly makes me an eagle rather than just some bird
there’s a reason for every fall
and it would be ungrateful of me to not appreciate the falls
I chose to be in the cage by choice as to help guide others who will taste the essential bitterness of life
mother says the bitter the medication the better is for me
I will leave the cage once my mission is done, it would be a foolish of me to only think of myself and not guide others
regard each struggle and enemy if there is any as my allie
the cage is where I must win
the cage is just a mere illusion and unless I understand its true purpose then I will continue to suffer
suffer what there is to suffer and enjoy what there is to enjoy regard both as facts of life
My perception of the cage must therefore change.
I seek to aware and not let hate fester inside me but speak up for what is right.
The 4th Dimension
Epiphany.
It dawned on me.
Take a human body and slice in half,
Now, turn to the top perspective and what do you see?
four quarters of a square wrapped.
call it biomimicry or just a mere analogy.
what completes the circle is the 4th dimension.
For a moment, I decided to explore further into the meaning of the 4th dimension and it had reminded me just as in the world a physical chemistry therein lies the wonders of time.
Time is the 4th dimension, with space but with no time there would be no need for humanity.
While the 4th dimension glues and unifies the four quadrants, it is also held together at a core.
Just then, in the shower, I came to a self realization.
The Core.
I, now, understand a bit more what it means to take faith in myoho “the opening of the eyes” the study of three thousand realms in a single moment…that is I am not married to nothing other than myself.
Thus, with this deep understanding, I now also know why externalities and the struggles that happen do not matter and that they are truly just mere delusions.
Anything and everything exists for the sake of this core teaching.
It exist in me, yes, but now I know even more why I should continue to seek to go deeper in my own life and seek to see what I can do to challenge myself each day.
I now know and understand why I must nurture of the core of my being.
It all makes absolute sense.
Ah, yes, 4th dimension…..r(velocity)xt(time)=d(position) ; s=position, v=velocity, a=acceleration……where does the acceleration go? velocity is relative to the observer…….and time cannot be separated from the 3-dimensional world…..
Interesting….as I contemplate about the 4th dimension….it had also reminded me of the string theory. …will continue soon…
The Universe and Human Beings
It has been quite a long time since I’ve been able to create a post for this blog. A couple of days ago, I pondered the question about subatomic particles as to how sound waves through vibration is able to transmit information across the vast universe unhindered by matter…the only matter that could have the slightest capability is Dark Matter, the matter that keep the universe from expanding too much or keeps the universe contained. This Dark Matter is called dark matter not simply because it has negative energy but because it remains unknown, still under investigation as scientists today are still trying to capture a piece of physical evidence that it does exist. While there is no doubt that dark matter exist, it also is a huge indication that we are far behind or capability to fully comprehend the dynamics of the universe. Thus everyday I am still trying to understand through my Buddhist practice as to how on earth Shakayumi Buddha was able to understand this phenomena without everyday modern Science or Technology. I am enamored and intrigued by this incredible wisdom, a key component into understanding why we do the things we do in everyday life and whether or not our better understanding of our own surroundings would propel us to greater heights as a human being. Today, legendary physicists, like Stephen Hawking, are still are on the search to find the physical traces of a the unifying cosmic theory….a unifying law that holds everything today, a law that for thousands and thousands of years Shakayumi had already forseen and understood but could not unveil the complexity of this teaching during his time…scientist call it a mysterious law or matter and buddhists called it the “Mystic Law” or “myo ho”.
As of today, I am in search of trying to understand how does sound wave or vibrations have an effect on communication, or how is it at the subatomic level is information transferred between atoms each other and eventually in far distant galaxies. I’ve recently read about Claytronics technology, where subjects will be created from an accumulation of tiny nanobots or computer on a nanoscale and can give form or shape to anything at a given command….so in a sense if understanding of how subatomic particles really work or how information is transmitted on an atomic level, then this technology would definitely come into fruition and may change the way we live in the future. Consequently, the understanding of our universe would not only simply change our culture and society, it will change mankind.
But, for now, let’s forget technology. From a philosophical perspective, why do we even care? Why should human beings care so much in advancement via Darwinism, Masonic pyramidal theories, religious rivalries or hierarchies, dictatorships, capitalism….etc? Survival. As human beings, beyond survival-ship, we are always looking to understand the purpose of this life, whether you are a good or bad person, one could not help but ponder the question the purpose of one’s existence. Through experimentation, we create different causes to understand our lives, we search everywhere except the wisdom is welled up inside of our hearts. As one SGI pioneer Women’s Division put it, “…you have to understand your heart. This fruit has a heart, this thing has a heart, the universe has the heart, everything has a heart…so why not listen to your heart.” In the purest sense, there is a mysticism in understand your life from the core or just like now how science is beginning to rebuild technology from ground up rather than taking from the environment and breaking it down. Take a look at this, Stephen Hawking said, “The matter in the universe is made out of positive energy.” It is made out of positive energy because proton exist at the core of an atom that are positively charged with electrons surrounding it. It is no wonder that human being gravitate naturally to higher life states, still surrounded by opposite force therefore taking greater threshold or effort to obtain a higher energy state. So, like what the pioneer said is true, everything has a heart….in other words..everything made of matter like us has positive energy. Since we are made up of atoms and essentially particles, if we utilize a tool that would tap into the inner core or subatomic energies (via chanting) such that sound and vibrations would have an effect on other subatomic energies, like a ripple effect, being able to transmit information/communication? If this holds true, then science is just catching up to what Shakayumi Buddha hard already discovered. It would then make sense why it takes effort to win over ourselves and our environment.
Many scientist have claimed that this dark matter and or other studies on Anti-matter have the same characteristic of existence but also non-existence. TRIPPY! Buddhism talks about the latency of potential life and latency of energies…..The more I read about science, the more I am understanding why there are so many parables in the scriptures….the whole scientific phenomena was too much for people to understand at the time so they would personify those universal components. You can read more about it on http://www.sgi.org/emptiness.html.
At the same time, you can check out what Stephen, Peter Higgs, Einstein, Galileo has to say….you’ll find that they all revert back to the laws of physics and how even with all the laws surrounding the universe like a network or webs…there is still one unifying law that keeps everything in check like checks and balances.
Phew…I’m still rambling. I hope I made sense. haha…but I’ll post more once I look into how sound and vibrations have an effect on other subatomic particles…
Positive or negative energies exists inside of us, whether you believe it or not, its fact but how it is applied or utilized through certain conditions is what matters. We can cannot negate one or the other, there are two essential components of life that create this incredible ceremony in the air to make things work they way they do. 
More on what Stephen has to say below:
[The matter in the universe is made out of positive energy. However, the matter is all attracting itself by gravity. Two pieces of matter that are close to each other have less energy than the same two pieces a long way apart, because you have to expend energy to separate them against the gravitational force that is pulling them together. Thus in a sense, the gravitational field has negative energy. In the case of a universe that is approximately uniform in space, one can show that this negative gravitational energy exactly cancels the positive energy represented by the matter. So the total energy of the universe is zero.
Now twice zero is also zero. Thus the universe can double the amount of positive matter energy and also double the negative gravitational energy without violation of the conservation of energy.
"It is said that there's no such thing as a free lunch. But the universe is the ultimate free lunch."136
One could say: "The boundary condition of the universe is that it has no boundary." Theuniverse would be completely self-contained and not affected by anything outside itself. It would neither be created nor destroyed. It would just BE. ]14
